Toasts, we all love them, we all cringe at the bad ones. But what makes a good toast good and a bad toast cringe worthy? This is the blog you need to send your bridal party, because after reading this, they’ll know what not to say and how to play it safe.
I don’t care how amazing you are at public speaking, when you are giving a toast for some really important people you come prepared. Even Jerry Seinfeld takes time to work on his material and he is literally the best. So put time a side to write out your thoughts and then practice, extra points if your toast is actually printed. If you want to speak off paper that’s okay but have it handy for when things either get too emotional or your mind blanks.
How most begin, but no one likes:
“For those of you who don’t know me..” The people who don’t know you, know that they don’t. Just simply introduce yourself by name and relation. “Hey everyone, I’m x and I’m the sister of X”
If the toast is long, let everyone know but also ask for their patience and respect when speaking. If it’s short, let them know as well.
Command the Room:
Don’t be afraid to put people in their place when you have the microphone, if there are people talking “you in the back, quit it.” make it funny but also make sure they know that this moment is important for the couple and they’re being rude. I’d do it for you if I could!
There are cute embarrassing stories like cutting bangs too short or something innocent but don’t talk about drunken nights, criminal activity or anything else scandalous. This is NOT a roast, I repeat NOT A ROAST. Read the room, there could be bosses there, grandparents and others that you wouldn’t want knowing some information.
Break Ups and Past Relationships:
Couples go through ups and down before they even walk down the aisle, no need to talk about the downs, the breakups, the “time outs” of their relationship. Don’t talk about their exes even if it is to bash them, we want good vibes not bad vibes, so chill.
Don’t Make it About YOU:
I’ve stood through many toasts that had the word “I” in every sentence. People tend to project and make it about them, such as “I used to babysit, I was the big sister who gave her everything, I had to cheer her up when she was sad.” Instead, talk about their good qualities, what makes them a great partner now and what will make them a great partner in the future. Make it about the couple, the day is about them. If you talk about your personal friendship don’t let it be for the whole toast.
“I could talk about X but I won’t..” Either do talk about it or don’t mention it. This is a filler sentence with no actually depth. Write what you want to say and then say it.
Get to Know The Spouse:
There should be no reason to say “I haven’t known you long but..” Length of time doesn’t matter, don’t mention it. Talk about who your friend IS with this person. Ask them questions prior, give us a good story, don’t cop out.
Don’t Cheap Out:
Don’t Google and give us canned best man or maid of honor speeches. We don’t want them, we’ve heard them already, please stop. Currently the trend is “Groom put your hand over Brides.. this is the last time you’ll have the upper hand.” This is not cute, it could get you a laugh but it’s cheap. Work for it.
If the whole room won’t understand the joke, skip it. A toast isn’t the time for an inside joke. We all want in on the fun.
Don’t walk around the room:
Stay in one place, this helps video and this helps photo. (hehe that one is for me)
Drop the sentence “But in all seriousness..” Just get serious. The perfect story will round out naturally try to tie it into what was said in the beginning.